I think the past two goodbyes were the hardest ones yet, and that’s only because my best friend is still here sitting here with me..

Saying goodbye to my mom and crying in her shoulder as she sings me my favorite childhood song was the hardest thing to hear from her. She’s such a strong person and to see her ball her eyes out as I do the very same.. words cannot describe the sadness I felt. 

Saying goodbye to Chad, if it is only for three weeks (because I’m coming home on Labor Day weekend), sucked just as terribly. He’s been my rock and biggest supporter since day one of our relationship.

I can’t wait to come home and see my mom, my grandma, that ugly ass dog that I thought I hated, but somehow now miss, my boyfriend, and more importantly the best friend a girl could ever ask for.

It’s 10:20 in the morning, and I’ve taken my first community style shower. It was an experience to say in the least.. I think that’s most likely the quickest shower I’ve ever taken in my entire life. Showering at home is a luxury where you relax and unwind for the day and just have some time for yourself. Showering in college is something that is a necessity because you’ve waited entirely too long and you’re beginning to smell.

It’s now 10:25 in the morning and people on my floor will start moving into their dorms in 35 minutes. There’s a dinner tonight for everyone and their friends and family, but all mine will be at home and I don’t know if I can make myself eat dinner by myself while everyone else is spending time with their family. I guess we will see whenever it’s time for that to actually happen.

I’m enjoying my time so far, but I think that’s because I have someone here to keep me company. When she leaves and I’m left to my own devices, it’ll become more difficult. But I know I can do it. I have to be strong and be happy. For myself.

I will make friends

I will make friends

I will make friends

I will make friends

 

DEAR GOD please let me make friends. Someone be crazy enough to like me.

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