A poem that set my soul free

Your words and hateful comments are tattooed onto the inside of my skin

Begging and pleading to bleed through

To show everyone just how ugly you think I am

My nose, too wide

My eyes, not the right shade of emerald

My lips, too full and too pale for anyone to love

My hips, too wide for your slim hands to grasp

Your love for me was artificial and temporary

But I loved it in the most sincere of ways

“You know Bailey, you only die if you cut vertically”

He says in the snidest of voices

Flashback

He tells me he loves me

Not to be inside my heart forever

But to be inside my thighs momentarily

Moment fades, the only word that slips into the air is “leave”

I just didn’t know he meant forever

Fast forward

He shakes me, bringing me out of my reverie

You’re supposed to be better

Why aren’t you better

Why isn’t the medicine working?

Why can’t I fix you, he

Is asking all these questions

But I don’t have the breath to answer, he

Took all the air out of my lungs and watched them collapse slowly as he

walked away five years ago, he

Told me I would never be happy

Fast forward…again

I see you and smile

I smile not because I’m happy

But because I can finally answer your questions

My lungs have slowly regained the air you sucked out of them

My heart able to beat to a new rhythm

Why can’t you fix me?

I wasn’t ever broken

I just wasn’t put together the way you wanted

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